Whoa…Last week was a bitch! I can’t sugar coat or even pretend it did not suck beyond words. I had to fly my daughter across country for a 6 hour surgery (her 8th). It’s heartbreaking to see her fear and anxiety. I am as close and connected to her as I can be…reassuring, calm, patient, glued to her side every step. She’s brave, strong, scared, courageous, thoughtful and worried through the entire process. Then you see her reemerge strong, smiling, confident, curious, happy, joyful and grateful. Yes she is grateful in her actions always.
Watching her bounce back after 48 hours is like watching a flower bloom. She’s so amazing. And when she’s in that place, I can relax a little because I know she’s going to be ok. We’ve made it through one more time. Except this time, I began vomiting and had a 102 degree fever. I’ve been in bed for 2 days, pretty damn sick with the flu. On top of this, I have had almost zero physical activity in 1 week. I exercise 6 days a week - it’s my job - it keeps me sane - healthy physically and mentally. So, at this point, I’m feeling pretty low. Down, weak, and spent. Yes it’s been a tough week!
So, I knew I wanted to write about our experience this week and what it’s shown me. Self reflection, knowledge of yourself and feeling your feelings, are all things I reinforce in my blogs and are tweaked when you go through challenges. This last week all I kept thinking was, I want to get back home to our amazing life!! Then I saw this quote today. “If you’re not obsessed with the life you’re living, change it!’ OK, YES!!!!
Now I’m not saying my life is perfect by any stretch - I have major challenges. My financial obligations with my business and my children are overwhelming. I live in a very tiny house and my kids share a bedroom. I have zero money for vacations because it all goes to fund our trips to Boston for my daughter’s surgeries. I don’t have a salary or an employer who pays me when I have to take time off to be mommy or because I’m sick. If I don’t work, I don’t get paid. It’s a long list, but you get the idea.
What I am saying is “I love it!” I love that I get to do what I love. I get to be with my babies and all the people I love everyday. I get to help people and make a difference in their lives. I get to live in the most amazing place and see and smell the ocean everyday. These are the things that make me obsessed with my life. When I am away from it, all I want to do is get back to it!
If you are in a life you don’t want to live, go get another one. No, it may not happen overnight, but take small steps. Make little changes. Start showing gratitude. Tell someone you love them. Search for a new career. Ask someone on a date. Go for a run. However tiny the step, let it lean you toward what you really want. Your life, the one you’re obsessed with, is waiting for you. Go…Be amazing!