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Attention Mommies: You Need to Exercise!

Posted on January 20, 2016 by Tamara Donofrio | 0 Comments

I grew up in a very unhealthy household. My parents were overweight smokers. No one ate  vegetables or exercised. 

I really wanted a reason to escape my horrible home life so I joined the track team. I could kill 2 hours after school.  Something shifted in me when I started running. I felt free from my horrible home life. More importantly I felt strong and powerful. I realized I could change my destiny. I was not going to be the overweight, smoker. I was going to escape and be a badass!!!
So can you!!!
You can change your fate, your destiny your health! You have that power!!!
So, Let's talk about really committing to your health. 
If you're not exercising most days of your life, you're not taking care of yourself. This is a must, an absolute. YOU NEED TO EXERCISE!!!!

Let's chat about what's happening when you don't...

People who are inactive have an increase risk of breast and colon cancer. You're risk for these diseases is reduced by 40% when you move your ass.

Physical activity helps prevent insulin resistance. You can prevent the most common disease among adults, just by moving your body.

Sedentary people have the highest risk of heart attack. Think about driving your car with your kid and bam! Chest pain, dizziness! Seriously, get your ass moving!

Lack of physical activity causes you to lose lean muscle tissue. This makes it difficult to maintain your body weight. So if you're not exercising, you will gain weight. You will be bigger, heavier, weaker. Your metabolism will continue to decrease.

These are the facts people.

The positives...
You will sleep better.
You will look better.
You will want to have more sex.
You will have more energy.
You will be happier.

Having kids and and too many kid activities is NOT a reason to not love yourself. Being a mother is more of a motivator. You must be healthy to be the best mother and you must lead by example. Treat yourself how you want your children to treat themselves.

Being healthy is not selfish! Get that out of you head now!!!!

Taking care of yourself is s necessity!  

Now go!!! Get your ass moving! Be amazing! 

Goodbye 2015

Posted on December 28, 2015 by Tamara Donofrio | 0 Comments

As 2015 comes to a close, my thoughts turn to accomplishments, goals,
failures and how I learned, grew and persevered through it all. 
So let’s drill down the shitty stuff first and then talk about the positives.
I have worked harder, longer and faster in 2015 than any other year of my
life. I end the year with the least amount of money I have ever had. That
is a difficult pill to swallow. As my business grows, I have to keep putting
money into it. Having no money after all the work is the negative, but it’s a
huge learning experience for me and is forcing me to make huge changes.
Big scary changes. I have to outsource it to someone I trust. I have to
bring investors in to continue to build it. 
This is where I could give up. “It’s too hard.” “I can’t do this.”, “Fuck it.”
These are all the phrases I have said to myself over the past 6 months.
But, when I look at the big picture, at all I have accomplished, I realize,
unequivocally that I still really believe in myself and in my business.
I have had days when I really didn’t want to get out of bed. For the first
time ever, I realized I was suffering from depression. It is debilitating,
lonely and scary. I’m learning to manage it with eating well, exercise and
acknowledging to people I love that I need them. That’s the positive, to be
able to reach out and admit you need people. That’s courage and strength
and I’m happy I have the balls to do so. The support I have had through
this has been unimaginable. I am so grateful to be surrounded by my kids,
friends and clients who honestly care and want the best for me. They are
all there for me 100%. (look for a blog in January devoted to depression) !
I accomplished my goal of 10 retailers in 2015 in the first 6 months. I
started 12 new clients into my program. My goal was 6. I’m not stopping -
no way in hell! But, I have to do things differently, restructure, learn and
move forward. 2016 is all about outsourcing and making money. Profit,
production and pushing even harder.
It’s also about taking care of myself
emotionally. I think the depression is a combination of hormones and
stress. I can get overwhelmed with work and mommy responsibilities. The
best to manage this is one step at a time. It can feel insurmountable when
you think of ALL the things you have to get done and all the people that
count on you. If you say ‘One step at a time” it seems less daunting.
We can all feel overwhelmed, defeated - like losers. It’s universal and we
can each climb out of it by acknowledging mistakes, pains, and hurdles.
Then let people help, take actions, one step at a time. Do the best you
can. Learn, grow then say to yourself “I can do this and I’m not stopping!” 
Go! Be Amazing!

Get Obsessed with YOUR Life

Posted on December 13, 2015 by Tamara Donofrio | 0 Comments

 

Whoa…Last week was a bitch!  I can’t sugar coat or even pretend it did not suck beyond words.  I had to fly my daughter across country for a 6 hour surgery (her 8th).  It’s heartbreaking to see her fear and anxiety.  I am as close and connected to her as I can be…reassuring, calm, patient, glued to her side every step.  She’s brave, strong, scared, courageous, thoughtful and worried through the entire process.  Then you see her reemerge strong, smiling, confident, curious, happy, joyful and grateful.  Yes she is grateful in her actions always.  

 

Watching her bounce back after 48 hours is like watching a flower bloom.  She’s so amazing.  And when she’s in that place, I can relax a little because I know she’s going to be ok.  We’ve made it through one more time.  Except this time, I began vomiting and had a 102 degree fever.  I’ve been in bed for 2 days, pretty damn sick with the flu.  On top of this, I have had almost zero physical activity in 1 week.  I exercise 6 days a week - it’s my job - it keeps me sane - healthy physically and mentally.  So, at this point, I’m feeling pretty low.  Down, weak, and spent.  Yes it’s been a tough week!

 

So, I knew I wanted to write about our experience this week and what it’s shown me.  Self reflection, knowledge of yourself and feeling your feelings, are all things I reinforce in my blogs and are tweaked when you go through challenges.  This last week all I kept thinking was, I want to get back home to our amazing life!! Then I saw this quote today.  “If you’re not obsessed with the life you’re living, change it!’  OK, YES!!!! 

 

Now I’m not saying my life is perfect by any stretch - I have major challenges.  My financial obligations with my business and my children are overwhelming.  I live in a very tiny house and my kids share a bedroom.  I have zero money for vacations because it all goes to fund our trips to Boston for my daughter’s surgeries.  I don’t have a salary or an employer who pays me when I have to take time off to be mommy or because I’m sick.  If I don’t work, I don’t get paid. It’s a long list, but you get the idea.  

 

What I am saying is “I love it!”  I love that I get to do what I love.  I get to be with my babies and all the people I love everyday.  I get to help people and make a difference in their lives.  I get to live in the most amazing place and see and smell the ocean everyday.  These are the things that make me obsessed with my life.  When I am away from it, all I want to do is get back to it!  

 

If you are in a life you don’t want to live, go get another one.  No, it may not happen overnight, but take small steps.  Make little changes. Start showing gratitude. Tell someone you love them. Search for a new career. Ask someone on a date. Go for a run.  However tiny the step, let it lean you toward what you really want.  Your life, the one you’re obsessed with, is waiting for you.  Go…Be amazing!

 

She's a Warrior

Posted on November 23, 2015 by Tamara Donofrio | 0 Comments

This is the Face of a Warrior.

She’s sweet, smart, beautiful and brave, beyond words. She has endured eight surgeries with grace and courage never mind a complaint.  But, a few days ago, she came to me with tears in her eyes. She’s now expressing fear and anxiety for the first time ever. She has always been very go-with-the-flow about it all, but she’s growing up emotionally and I better have my shit together so I can help her navigate through this. This is a battle she has to fight for years to come and she needs to be equipped to deal with it emotionally. I need to let her be sad, scared, mad and frustrated. The goal is not to “make it better” like parents often want to do. The goal is to allow the expression, to validate the emotions, to be compassionate and to simply be present.!!! If I can navigate her through this, I can give her the tools she will need to handle most of the hurdles she will have to face in life!  I believe to live a full life, to be vulnerable, to accomplish great things, to kick ass as a human, you have to stumble, fall, get your heart broken. If you have not experienced these types of things in your life, you’re probably living in protection and trying to avoid pain and suffering which is our natural response.  But to truly live a full and present life we can't avoid pain and suffering, we can only develop the tools to persevere, to rise above and grow stronger!! This quote by Cheryl Strayed hits the nail on the head: "Parents teach their children how to be warriors, to give them the confidence to get on the horse to ride into battle when it’s necessary to do so. If you didn’t get that from your parents, you have to teach yourself". I’m going to teach my children - it’s my job. It’s hard, it’s so damn hard. I can’t make this go away for her, I can only give her the tools. The tools she will need.  She is a WARRIOR and so are you.  Now Go... Be Amazing!

The Art of Letting Go

Posted on November 02, 2015 by Tamara Donofrio | 0 Comments

Moving on!
Walk away with a sexy smile on your face...

Let's talk about letting go and moving forward. Please let's all keep moving forward!

One of my favorite quotes is this...
"You can spend days, months, years analyzing a situation. Or you can leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on!" Tupac

It's true, it's true! I'm living proof. I have seriously spent exorbitant amounts of time analyzing stuff that I never figured out. Obsessing over people who treated me like shit. I'm an obsessive person. I don't like to give up and I really want to figure shit out.

Let's back up! I have major abandonment issues. Beginning from a very early age, I saw loved ones just leave me, ignore me. So I basically did that most of my adult life. If you ignored me, withheld love and affection, blew me off...I was hooked! That's what love felt like to me!!!

Oh gosh, even typing that makes me shudder and honestly makes me ill. Although, it feels really amazing to have that behind me.

So how did I do it? You have to start letting people in. Allow yourself to be truly seen - flaws and all! When you do this something amazing happens. You get vulnerability in return. People open up to you and share themselves. You connect as humans - not just going through the motions.
However, I run into people professionally and socially who simply can't get there. In the past, I would take this personally and consider it my quest for them to SEE me. But, you can only give of yourself so much. You have to realize some people will always be afraid, will always push away love and will continue to disconnect to remain 'safe'.
This is when you just have to walk away. Wish them well and always be kind. Realize there is no room in a healthy life for individuals who refuse to connect. Let them go...

It is very challenging if you're used to attracting those who withhold emotion. Keep saying to yourself, "Does this make me happy?" "Is this what I want?" "Does this feel good?"
Remember, love doesn't hurt, it feels good.

Just like anything new, it must be learned. its a behavioral change that comes natural with practice and time.

Start today with baby steps. Who's loving, supportive and kind to you? Go there...go where the love is!

Now go be amazing!

Let's Talk About Gratitude

Posted on October 19, 2015 by Tamara Donofrio | 0 Comments

I want to talk about gratitude.

I had a situation last week that was so stressful.  I was failing several of my retailers.  I didn’t have enough product and they were all sold out.  SOLD OUT!  Holy shit!  I felt like a loser.  OR NOT!  Wait a minute.  THREE of my retailers sold out of FitChick Granola because so many people are buying it.  It’s in DEMAND.  People like it.  People are buying it!!! It's like a Sally Fields moment from the Oscars when she said "Your really like me...YOU REALLY LIKE ME!!!"

Grateful is defined by Merriam-Webster as feeling or showing thanks.  Being grateful is an act and action, a way of being and living. I am beyond grateful... for so many things in my life today.  I’m pretty sure I would never wish for the roadblocks, setbacks, painful and heartbreaking moments I have endured over the course of my life so far.  But, on the other hand, I am grateful for having the strength to overcome them and thrive!   I am absolutely certain they have allowed me the perspective I have today and IN SPITE of the setbacks, I have picked myself up and dusted myself off and have been able to rise to any challenge proving to others, but most importantly proving to myself that I don't just meet a challenge...I can kick it's ass.

I have not always been a grateful person.  I have learned to be grateful from watching very ungrateful people.  You know those people?  They complain about anything, everything.  Snore….
Stop with the whining and complaining.  It makes you feel like shit about yourself and the only people that want to hang out with you are….yes, whiners and complainers.  Like attracts like.

Take a minute and think about 5 things you are grateful for.  Go ahead.  It’s amazingly calming and uplifting.  

Listen to this...I’m grateful I have an extremely stressful work week ahead.  I’m completely overwhelmed with the responsibility of getting it all done.  I want to be there for my clients, fully, engaged and giving them the most insane workouts.  I want them to leave so exhausted and worked that they feel mentally refreshed while physically spent.  I am in an extreme backorder situation with FitChick Granola.  I have to double my production this week which requires, double time, double money, double stress.  But, you know what?  I could not be more grateful. Because these are good problems to have!!! ((((THANK YOU))))  

So, when you think you can’t be grateful, can’t handle whatever stress or obstacle is in your way, change your perspective. Think about why it’s stressful.  Think about where you have come from.  Think about where you are going.  No matter what, you can always, always find something to be grateful for. Even if it is as simple as "I am grateful to be able to walk on my own to legs, to be able to inhale and exhale, the chance to live another day on this planet".

I mentioned earlier in this blog about like attracting like.  Begin to acknowledge the good in your life.  Be grateful for even the little things and watch what happens.  When you are grateful in life, the universe reciprocates by gifting you with more abundance. And who doesn't love that?  But, don't take my word for it.  Try it.

So give thanks, show gratitude, appreciate what you have.  Go be you.  Be amazing.

What Matters Most to You?

Posted on October 12, 2015 by Tamara Donofrio | 0 Comments

What Matters Most to You?

As I grow older I learn how truly important the daily routine stuff is.  My daily routine might be boring to some, but I am so in love with it.  I am centered and connected because of it.

My daughter wakes me every morning by jumping in my bed, snuggling up next to me and kissing my head.  The feel of her next to me, her smell, her giggle, her words (everyday, I love you Mamma), make me feel alive and so completely loved.  My son comes in about 20 minutes later all warm and snuggly.  He likes to get under the covers and wrap my arm around his neck.  He grabs my hand and says “Mamma, can we have breakfast in bed”?  It’s always yes. YES, I make my kids breakfast in bed everyday!!!!  It’s the best thing ever and it make my kids so happy.  It’s so intimate and just us and starts our day so beautifully.  There is so much love in that bed.  Yes, I have to change my sheets - incessantly!!!

We also have this ritual called “Sweet and Sour”.  At dinner each night, we each take turns chatting about the best thing, (the Sweet) and the worst thing, (The Sour) that happened in our day.  Sometimes my kids chat about accomplishments at school or friends they got to play with.  Sometimes they simply say “Getting to see you Momma.”  

The people you share your life with day to day are what makes your life worthwhile.  There is nothing more important, more gratifying and more necessary to living a full and abundant life than connecting with other human beings.  The people you eat breakfast with, share all your secrets with and hold hands with - these are your people.  This gives purpose and meaning to your life.  You can own property, have millions in the bank, take exotic vacations.  Those things are all good. However, none of it truly matters as much as being able to share you life, heart, space and being with others you love and trust.
 

I acknowledge I have an extraordinary life.  I'm  established in a career I love which allows me to support myself and my children. My kids get to grow up at the beach and I get to pick them up from school everyday.  This is in sharp contrast to how I grew up.  I grew up in a completely unsafe, hostile environment and  I lived in fear most days.  I was alone most days.  
 
Now I am thankful... so incredibly thankful.  My children are healthy, safe, happy and loved.  We don’t do a lot of extraordinary things.  I can’t afford to take them on vacation, we live in a very tiny home and my children share a bedroom.  

But, we could not be happier...our home is filled with love and compassion for each other and the world around us and in the end, isn't that what matters most?

Enjoy and create the amazing life you deserve.  Figure out what’s important to you and do it!  

Now, Go.  Be you.

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